HERE & NOW
Whats up everyone, as you all know my name is Juan Pliego, I enjoy both my jobs and love to stay busy on a daily basis, But what you don't know is whats being going on in my daily life.
At this point in life having trustworthy people you can count on is not a practical thing, it feels like everyones out to get you, or just plain jealousy can take over someone emotions and we all know what happens next Lol. For me its a little different today for the first time I'm going to open up a bit. Going through a lot an not being able to talk about it, it honestly takes a toll on you body, mind and spirit. with no judgment from my fellow peers and friends here we go.
Myself and I'm sure most men have a problem with venerability, its not an easy thing for us to do. For me it was a big problem, especially when it came down to friends trying ask what was going on in life. But I felt like I was just the loyalty guy, dependable enough to not need to open up to people.
but let me tell you everytime I did that I was just screwing myself over.
I was scared of my demons inside and more scared about how people would react to them.
1. My BIGGEST PROBLEM is my self esteem, how I look at myself, how I treat myself, and most importantly how throughout the years I've changed to fit societies expectations.
- I have had people help me out with this situation, but if you know me I'm a stubborn MF, and
there is no changing my mind once its made up. I hated how I look, how I talk, how let myself go
after high school. LOL (I was one of those that always said I was a big guy back then SMH take
me back) Everything I've been through these past 3 years, made it even worse which put me In a
very very unhealthy state of mind. I started saying "You can't Fix Ugly" or "Whats the point now"
You get the point.
Thats when SELF DEPRECATING became a thing. a horrible thing I didn't realize I was doing
for a long time. it became a daily thing that was not so fun to be around.
2. Being a FAILURE, This topic is a really unnecessary one but here we go since I'm being open.
Im 27 going on 28 and it seems like I ova not accomplished much in life. But once again I fell into
this mindset because of societies expectations. Expectations that are set by many different people
that live very different lives and most importantly SOCIAL MEDIA! I focus so much on th bad
that I forget to take a step back, sit and enjoy my accomplishments that I have been able to
accomplish! NO person is a failure we just complete things at different pace.
"FAILURE IS NOT THE OPPOSITE OF SUCCESS, ITS PART OF IT"
3. PRIORITY, if you know me i rarely put myself first, and that became a problem.
lets just saw that has been a work in progress. If I don't take care of myself who will?
4. My Dammm HEALTH, I'm not really open about this topic and unfortunately I will keep it that
way. Unfortunately when I choose to tell certain people they turned around and just made it a joke
and that was a very disappointing. The DAILY struggle of keeping up with daily health is a must at
this point.
ES TODO FOR NOW:
I've been through a lot, I've pushed through, mental head suffered a big hit, and self esteem has been lower than ever. Learn to not trust anyone, learned that everyone is out for themselves, I should be the priority. and my success should be celebrated! Im a traveler, and will travel the world if my health, God permits. Learned that Vacations are for all SHAPES & SIZES, to enjoy life. My Goal with people is to figure out how we are similar as opposed to how different we are & come together in a way we understand eachother.
To all the people in the past that have intentionally or unintentionally damaged me in a way, you have been forgiven. That shit stays in the past. I took the trip to Hawaii to gain self love, self respect and I've found it.
VALLEY OF THE TEMPLES. AHUIMANU,HI AUG 2019
GRACIAS
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